5 posts tagged “school”
So I say I am stressed a lot lately but never with any proof except whine whine whine. Well, I had a brief movie moment this morning. I won't elaborate except when I did find the offending piece, I stumbled backwards and, instead of falling unconscious which would have been preferable, I clumsily bumped the back of my head against the bathroom wall. That was painful.
It is also pi (or pie) day! I hate numbers, but it is totally a semi-legitimate reason to have apple pie. Yum! I might purchase some later and bake something later. Because you know what I noticed? If my biological clock is mucked up, I tend to cook late into the morning - and I never eat what I make. It's the insomniac's way of keeping himself/herself busy. Which is what I do.
I also have a can of whipped cream for consumption. I have no idea why I bought it since I haven't really touched it since. All I want are goldfish crackers and ice. Maybe an orange and raspberries for nutritional balance. I have been talking a lot about food recently, but looking at them makes me gag. Oh, apple juice! Haha, yeah. Story of my life.
Got a third piercing for my right ear last week, intending to get a second one for my left sometime today or later this weekend. Um, and I decided I won't try for the April 1 deadline. Too much to do in so little time, and way too put off to deal with irresponsible adults. As a result, speech class this summer. Ick.
Food to school - seriously, I make lovely transitions.
/idiot
So Cindy is my lifeline. Sent out the e-mail earlier this afternoon, received one this evening. And chaos ensued, which roughly goes like this:
Me: OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG ... OKAY STRESSING OUT. so i wrote my prof. an e-mail about the rec, and he replied and i DON'T want to open it. ;__________;
Cin: OPEN IT. I BET YOU HE SAYS YES.
Me: i don't want to see a no, but i don't think i can take a yes either.
Cin: BEEEET.
Me: no he doesn'tttttttttttt. ;_;
Cin: YES HE DOES.
Me: omg omg omg. hyperventilating.
Cin: And you sort of have no choice.
Me: sheeeeeeeeeet.
Cin: DEEP BREATHS! HE WILL SAY YES.
Me: i'm gonna DIE.
Cin: IT IS NOT A NOG.
Cin: *NOT A NO. AHAHAHA. And probably not a nog, whatever that is.
Me: LOL. slja;f fuuuuuuuuuuuuck. i can't open ittttttttttt.
Cin: QUICK, LIKE A BANDAID.
Me: *HEADDESK* lol.
Cin: FIND, FORWARD IT TO ME AND I WILL OPEN IT. JEEZ. :P
Me: I CAN'T WITHOUT OPENING IT. SNEAKY PANTS.
Cin: FAIL.
Me: ACTUALLY WAIT YES I CAN.
And that goes on forever, I threaten passing out (because I swear I was this close), and I'm okay now. I think. Heart still racing but I'm okay. I hate school; why do I even care? I'm not supposed to care this much, it's actually ripping me apart.
I never want this feeling to go away. It's nice to feel weightless and unburdened. Sure, I've felt elated and punch drunk before but not in the sense that – that, well – oh.
This state is difficult to put into words, but it's definitely meaningful.
That aside, wow, do I feel lousy. Donated blood last night, had a reaction again (no surprise), and am still slightly reeling from it. A bit light-headed and tired, and everyone thinks I'm abnormal since this happens all the time. Everyone's a bit too melodramatic; I'm fully capable in donating blood – just not more than twice a year, I suppose. That was the suggestion, anyway. And now my mom is going to take my blood pressure twice a month because of what happened.
Joy.
And she calls me paranoid. Bah.
Today was my first class, twice a week. My professor is weird and has a thick accent, but it's obvious to see he's motivated. He's interesting for lack of a better word, but he has this tendency to deviate from the subject. I'm anticipating discussions on the controversial issues later in the semester, mainly because I like to know how well my peers express themselves on political matters but as well as what their opinions are and where they stand, etc. Debates are always intriguing.
Oh, and I was surprised to discover that an old elementary classmate is in my class. Still the same, dresses the same, etc. This proved further amusing when he went to pick up a friend, I assume, in my neighborhood (or at least outside the gate). I think this is funny because I am clearly connected with others as much as I want to distance myself. Great.
Interesting year, absolutely.
Some things have ended and other things are – well, I hope to think they're going somewhere. Strangely, recent events haven't affected me so much as they would have a week ago. Either I've conditioned myself properly to expect disappointment and take it, or maybe I just stopped caring when I accepted the fact that nothing would be the same. Whatever the case, I'm kind of happy. (And I say kind of because it's bizarre to feel this way considering the circumstances that got me here.)
And I suppose I was none too surprised, as the end result was something my mom had predicted when everything had started about a month ago, give or take. Funny how old events feel like they just happened when things that have just happened feel like they've occurred months ago. Again, maybe I'm just getting used to it. And maybe I don't mind being some kind of stranger if only I'm allowed to start over. In words of many people I've sought advice, things can only get better (knowing me, however, I could probably make things worse but anyway!).
People amuse me; my work amuses me; I amuse myself in ways I can only find annoying. See, I made the mistake of being happy, friendly, and awfully conversational today with everyone. This has quite the effect on random individuals, I've noticed. Married or single, boy or girl – I'm clearly very magnetic because people respond to it.
(I try to de-stress myself by thinking it's just because I'm a fantastic person, but we all know how ridiculous that is so I'm going to pretend it's because I'm nice. Yes, nice.)
Um, what else. Blood donation appointment in three days, school in four – I now have a reason to shop for pens and paper! And grab a scrapbook while I'm at it. I'm really getting into photographing portraits – especially candids. We'll see how that goes!
Aqualung makes me incredibly giddy inside, and I aspire to play like Matt Hales in the unseen, distant future. Speaking of playing like Hales, I managed to sail along Prelude (Bach) during my recital earlier tonight with one minor mistake. Let us not speak of the major scales, though; apparently, the positioning of my fingers were all wrong, but that's neither here nor there.
What else – oh, managed to strike out two people off my holiday gift list. I have a long way to go, considering I just started. Really, with me, Christmas is during January, sorry to say. :(
Thanks, Jenbean, I love you for the chocolates. Really! And seriously, I am in love with the card. I need to get a box solely for the letters you've sent me; they're overflowing in the case I'm currently keeping them.
Now, to cover all the bases, things that make me happy:
- Winter Break!
- Pretty letters and/or greeting cards and/or postcards with good ramblings.
- Stationery and/or notebooks littered with stories and quotes and other sayings about nothing.
- Online stores that make my life easier.
- Piano-driven songs and rainy evenings to lull me to sleep.
- Hot chocolate and cute things.
- Expecting a few eventful weeks ahead that is sure to be fun, I hope!
- Rain, rain, rain – did I mention rain?
- Classical music – Debussy, in particular.
- Scarves, I love scarves.
- A constant state of semi-expectations and curiosity.
